Monday, June 29, 2009

PPT Hiring Mortgage Quant

After throwing $1 trillion at the mortgage problem, the president's working group realized that it needed someone who actually knew what the problem was, so it hired TREPP a few weeks ago. Now that they actually have a cash flow modeling system, the gentle souls with the invisible hands have expanded their hiring efforts, and the latest talent sought by the New York Fed is that of an MBS Quant.

In addition to the job responsibilities listed below, a successful candidate will need to be able to covertly purchase billions of toxic MBS securities with taxpayer capital with minor but encouraged spillover effect into equities and other security classes, to indicate interest in $1,000 blocks of MBS securities while in fact purchasing trillions, and to have minimal restraint when it comes to lifting a bid, especially one which should exhibit constantly rising characteristics in a no volume market. The candidate's annual bonus will depend on the general level of the S&P at the end of the year and will be inversely proportional to the number of enforcement cases brought on by the SEC and other so-called market regulators.

Oh, Michael Moore, Oliver Stone as well as foreigners who want nothing less than stealing all of the Fed's trading secrets - you are out of luck: "This position requires access to FOMC information, which is limited to “Protected Individuals” as defined in the U.S. federal immigration law."

hat tip IMA5U Sphere: Related Content
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