Showing posts with label PPT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PPT. Show all posts

Monday, June 29, 2009

PPT Hiring Mortgage Quant

After throwing $1 trillion at the mortgage problem, the president's working group realized that it needed someone who actually knew what the problem was, so it hired TREPP a few weeks ago. Now that they actually have a cash flow modeling system, the gentle souls with the invisible hands have expanded their hiring efforts, and the latest talent sought by the New York Fed is that of an MBS Quant.

In addition to the job responsibilities listed below, a successful candidate will need to be able to covertly purchase billions of toxic MBS securities with taxpayer capital with minor but encouraged spillover effect into equities and other security classes, to indicate interest in $1,000 blocks of MBS securities while in fact purchasing trillions, and to have minimal restraint when it comes to lifting a bid, especially one which should exhibit constantly rising characteristics in a no volume market. The candidate's annual bonus will depend on the general level of the S&P at the end of the year and will be inversely proportional to the number of enforcement cases brought on by the SEC and other so-called market regulators.

Oh, Michael Moore, Oliver Stone as well as foreigners who want nothing less than stealing all of the Fed's trading secrets - you are out of luck: "This position requires access to FOMC information, which is limited to “Protected Individuals” as defined in the U.S. federal immigration law."



hat tip IMA5U Sphere: Related Content

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Now Hiring Credit Analysts: The PPT (Self Administered 401k Included)

All you wannabe masters of the universe who want to bypass the three- to five-year apprenticeship at Goldman Sachs and go straight to the motherlode of manipulative machinations, look no further than this job posting on the Ladders, in which none other than the bastion of free market communism, aka the New York Fed, is seeking a Financial Analyst/Corporate Bond Analyst. With all the newly minted billions of corporate debt floating around and not yet purchased by gullible "buy-and-hold" investors, the PPT has realized it is short one credit Wizard of Oz. An amusing blurb from the Request For Plunge-Protectors (RFPP):
The candidate would be expected to develop a macro approach towards analyzing corporate credit with a focus on those high-grade and high-yield sectors that have implications for monetary policy and financial stability. This will entail tracking credit spread movements in both cash and derivatives markets and understanding how they are impacted by changes in the macro environment. This will also entail informing policy makers on what these markets say about the macro environment and market liquidity. A key element will also be to understand the market microstructure against which price movements take place and the conditions under which they could negatively impact market liquidity and financial stability. To this end, the candidate would be expected to develop extensive contacts with corporate credit market participants – both primary dealers and buy-side investors -- as well as to interface with other areas of the bank, such as Bank Supervision and Research.
It is about time the Fed hired someone to inform them that both the "macro environment and market liquidity", not to mention the "market microstructure", are on the verge of collapse. Then again, this posting puts everything in perspective: obviously the last corp bond analyst got poached by Goldman, and the NY Fed is flying on Tiny Tim's cliff notes for what to do in an emergency which can be summarized by the phrase "Buy Everything."

We urge our readers to please apply for this position, and not just to take pictures of the famous oak conference room where the fate of LTCM was being decided 12 years ago: someone has to slow down this plane before its hits the mountain at warp 9. Also it would be so cool to know that you singlehandedly are responsible for the market value of your (and everyone else's) 401(k). Lastly, the bragging rights of saying you really do run the world to pompous second-year analysts out of Goldman is worth the interview alone.




P.S. Any reference to Plunge Protection Teams, both real and imagined in ampheatmine-laced, kool-aid snorting, opium den sessions is purely coincidental. No illegal short positions (not just naked) were established in the writing of this post.

hat tip Brian Sphere: Related Content