Monday, March 30, 2009

Obama Wants To Split GM Into "Good" and "Bad" Company

CNBC just out: The First Portfolio Manager, who today also became the First HR Manager of General Motors, is quoted as saying he wants to split GM into a "Good" GM and "Bad" GM, thus cementing his spot as The First Company Ethics Arbitrator. Not sure what exactly would fall into "Bad" GM, but we have our money on the Pontiak Aztec making the list. Lastly, in yet another total shift in strategy, the administration was quoted as saying bankruptcy is currently the preferred outcome for the Detroit automaker.

With Obama now willy-nilly hiring and firing CEOs and deciding which companies should be placed into bankruptcy protection, we are very excited about the enthusiasm of hedge fund managers to participate in any governmentally sponsored programs for the foreseeable future (this of course excludes such prominent "private" figures as Bill Gross and Larry Fink). Sphere: Related Content
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Anonymous said...

Falling into the Bad company will be:
Pontiak Aztec,
GMAC household finance,
Orginized Labor,
Health Care and Pension obligations,
debt (especially foreign),
and anything else bad.

Load it all into the boat and take it out into the middle of Lake St Clair. Then shoot a hole in the hull. Instant diving paradise for those seeking neutral buoyancy. Or mass gravesite for distinguished executives.

Unknown said...

Maybe GM is a trial run for the banks to be split? Nahh, that would almost make sense.

Clotario said...

I'm anxious to split my being into the good and bad parts, too - The prudent, skilled and wage earning portion can keep on truckin', the part with all the student loans can be pawned off on the taxpayers.

Good times!

Anonymous said...

i'm going to affect a split of this blog into good and bad. the good part will have all the great ideas and analysis, the bad part will have all the gratuitous yelling at slimeballs. the bad part will own all the equity of the good part. good idea, huh?

Anonymous said...

i want to split obama into a good president and a bad president, and i want to split the US into good states and bad states. the good president can rule over the bad states and the bad president can rule over the good states.