I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.

You can't make this shit up. All you Hollywood agents scouring under the skirts of Daily Grill waitresses for your next script look no further (I will merely accept a firm virtual handshake and advance rights for my upcoming book), and all you employed sales people, here is a brilliant idea for how to bring your career to new heights...

Here is a guy, let's call him Mr. X (for the full blow by blow click here). Mr. X works as an institutional sales guy, a gatekeeper to the powerful worlds of hedge funds, who makes a base of 100k and total comp for three years running over a cool half a mil. So instead of focusing on a calm suburban existence, Mr. X decides to use his corporate AmEx to procure questionably sanitary services from "Ce Soir of New York" (no link, which would undoubtedly be NSFW, but here is the phone #: (212) 213-0505, toll free: (800) 621-9808). The guy does this not once, not twice, not even three time, but three and a half times (last usage was diluted by the presence of one of his hedge fund buddies, whose arm is twisted to show up at an unnamed hotel where Ce Soir's services were consummated); these charges are subsequently ascribed to the purchase of tickets for Broadway, Springsteen (2x), and U.S. Open tickets for his wife and clients. And then Mr. X gets caught... And to top this, Mr. X is married. In a subsequent psyc evaluation, an "expert" claims "[Mr.X] determined that the risk to his marital relationship outweighed the risk that Lazard would discover his expense reports were fake." If all you can come up with as defense to an arbitration panel is using escorts as a way to save your marriage , you may consider getting a second opinion. Incidentally, it is curious how Mrs. X reacted when her husband's ways were disclosed. Also curious who the menage-a-troisee was and how pervasive this practice in the industry may be.... although of course this could very well be the sole, isolated incident...

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