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In totally unrelated news, Jose Mourinho, coach of Italian soccer powerhouse Inter Milan, has told his troubled stiker Adriano that he is fat and he needs to lose weight if he wants to play for the team. "It is clear that he is (six to nine pounds) overweight and he lacks some explosiveness and confidence." Now that is some motivation talk.
Next up: Stieve Cohen telling his traders they are being furloughed until they lose 50 pounds or have hormonal therapy to achieve their target figures.