Zero Hedge

The boondoggle party is over... Or at least it is for Bank of Countrywide Lynch. The recent prolapse in populist hatred for TARP recipients means no more fancy conferences at the corners of the world where tequila shots are cheap, ignorant yokels still think banking is cool, and strip clubs are plenty.

So as the ever vigilant world of bored bloggers makes it virtually impossible for any associate to enjoy 4 hours in business class, sipping on mimosas and crunching on a microwaved dish of assorted nuts, while pretending to be reading a pitchbook, we think it makes sense to alert the general public of these gratuitous opportunities to blow taxpayer money for worthless banker congregations. Each "conference" is rated along two axes: i) overall boondogglery factor based on geographic location and ii) wanton waste of taxpayer funds, both on a scale of 1 to 10.

Band of Countrywide Lynch: (TARP)

(not surprisingly)

Credit Suisse: (no TARP)

March 01 - 03, 2009, Alternative Investment Managers CFO/COO Conference, Florida: i) 8/10, ii) 8/10

March 04, 2009, Geneva Autos 1-1 Conference, Geneva: i) 9/10, ii) 6/10

March 02 - 04, Private Equity Limited Partners Meeting, Palm Beach: i) 8/10, ii) 6/10

March 05, 2009, Hedge Fund Manager Roundtable, London: i) 6/10, ii) 7/10

March 10, 2009, Prime Services COO Hedge Fund Conference, London: i) 6/10, ii) 8/10

March 17, 2009, Retail Roundup, Boston: i) 5/10, ii) 8/10

March 25, 2009, Capital Services Hedge Fund Manager Forum, Zurich: i) 9/10, ii) 8/10

April 07, 2009, Greek Equities Conference, New York: i) 4/10, ii) 10/10

June 09 - 12, 2009, Convergence Conference (??), California: i) 6/10, ii) 10/10

June 24 - 25, 2009, Consumer Conference, Cape Town: i) 11/10, ii) 7/10

UBS: (no TARP)

February 16, 2009, Phil Gramm Lunch Seminar, Mandarin Oriental Tokyo: i) 8.5/10, ii) 6/10

February 18, 2009, Capital Introduction Forum, Soho Hotel London: i) 7/10, ii) 7/10

March 1, 2009, IB Global Energy Conference, One and Only Palmilla, Cabo San Lucas: i) 11/10, ii) 8/10

March 5, 2009, Nat Gas, Electric Power and Coal Conference, Hyatt Regency Austin TX: i) 8/10, ii) 6/10

March 17, 2009, Brazil 2009 Tenth Annual CEO Conference, Grand Hyatt Sao Paulo: i) 10/10, ii) 10/10

March 30, 2009, Australia/N.Z. Manager Showcase, Ritz-Carlton Millenia Singapore: i) 5/10, ii) 8/10

March 31, 2009, Australia/N.Z. Manager Showcase, Island Shangri-La Hong Kong: i) 9/10, ii) 8/10

April 22, 2009, Capital Introduction Forum, Soho Hotel London: i) 7/10, ii) 7/10

May 6, 2009, Tenth Financial Institutions, Beau Rivage Palace, Lausanne: i) 11/10, ii) 11/10

June 3, Capital Introduction Forum (in case you missed the prior two), Soho Hotel London: i) 7/10, ii) 7/10

Goldman Sachs: (TARP, weak)

February 25-27, Technology and Internet Conference, San Francisco Marriott: i) 7/10, ii) 9/10

March 3, Spanish Banks Symposium, GS Centre London: i) 8/10, ii) 6/10

March 17-19, 2009 Montreal Paper and Forest Investor, Sofitel Montreal: i) 6/10, ii) 5/10

JP Morgan: (TARP, also weak)

March 10-11, Aviation and Transportation Conference, JPM Conf New York: i) 4/10, ii) 5/10

May 18-20, Global Tech, Media and Telecom Conference, Westin Boston: i) 7/10, ii) 6/10

Merrill Lynch: (TARP, BofA, $35k commodes)

February 22, Investor Trip: Riyadh: i) 9/10, ii) 7/10

February 25, Investor Trip: Jeddah, Doha, Muscat, Dubai: i) 9/10, ii) 7/10

March 02-06, Investor Trip: Central/Eastern Europe: i )8/10, ii) 7/10

March 16-20, Investor Trip: Ghana, Nigeria, Kenya: i) 7/10, ii) 11/10

March 23-27, 10th Annual 1-on-1 conference, Sun City, South Africa: i) 9/10, ii) 7/10

May 12-14, Global Metals and Mining Conference, Barcelona: i) 9/10, ii) 6/10