Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wait Is Over - Nortel Files for Bankruptcy

Despite our assumption that this would be a Southern New York Case, and in fact was a Delaware filing, the overall parameters turned out right. Turns out the $4.5 billion of debt was insurmountable to the Canadian Telco, despite having over $2 billion in cash. Seems NT files without having a DIP in place, which makes sense with their cash hoard. Granted we hope this is not an indication of Lazard's trust in the DIP market (none) as we fully expect on average 5-10 companies to have to file for bankruptcy a day in 2009, and with no interim bankruptcy financing, all will have to liquidate outright... guess there is a reason why they call it a credit bubble.

We hope you managed to sell your bonds yesterday, as today preliminary pricing indicates a range around 17. Also, presumably you managed to sell the stock at $900/share in 2000...
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Schrenker Captured!

WSJ, and CNN report that Schrenker is in the custody of the Gadsden County Sheriff's Office. Lt. Jim Corder says Marcus is alive and well. Schrenker managed to traverse a distance of 275 miles, from the house he showed up at on Sunday night in Childersburg, Ala, to his current location at Tallahassee Memorial Hosptial as apparently he had slit his wrists shortly before being captured.



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Have You Seen This Man?

And the list is growing... First Schrenker and now Raoul Weil, Former Chairman and CEO of Global Wealth Management at UBS. In the order attached below, Judge James Cohn of the Southern District of Florida announced that Raoul is now a fugitive. The UBS bigman, had been previously charged with tax fraud conspiracy. In an indictment unsealed in November, Weil and other bankers were charged with helping 17,000 Americans hide over $20 billion in U.S. taxes. Whereas at the time Raoul said the indictment against him was "totally unjustified", the Zurich-based banker has apparently decided against actually proving the unjustifiability of the charges and instead has opted to simply run away. Weil was a member of UBS' executive board until the charges against him were made public. It will be interesting how the schizophrenic bankers at UBS spin this one, especially ahead of what are expected to be some pretty huge writedowns on even more bad investments.




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Schrenker Gimmicks Put Bernie the Ponzasaur to Shame

As the media whirlwind over the latest Ponzmaster becomes more and more acute, the disclosures about his past keep mounting to a point where what Madoff has done in comparison will likely soon seem tame. We all know by now the more recent events, but the pre-story that is unwinding is simply staggering. As Yahoo Finance has uncovered, his involvement can be found in such unexpected places as the Delta Airlines Bankruptcy Case.

Here is a rough attempt at a timeline of events:

- August 17, 2006: Marc Schrenker is listed as an Advisor in the Delta Pilots Pension Termination Opposition mission statement. Delta's Retired Pilots are fighting the debtor's attempt to stiff them and to virtually eliminate their pensions while in bankruptcy, which probably amounts to millions and millions of dollars. Schrenker manages to weasel his way in as a "protector" of their retiree's interests. The original filing by Delta of the Pension Termination Plan, which Schrenker was supposed to defend against, can be found here. Attorneys for the pilots, who also represent Schrenker at his deposition, is the law firm of Thelein Reid and Priest LLP of Washington DC (212-603-2000) with attorneys Sherwin Kaplan and Sara Pikofsky in Washington.


- August 25, 2006: deposition (here, here and here) of Robert Morrison, a retired Delta pilot, who is also unlucky enough to have been hired as an investment advisor by Schrenker (no salary, just commission), most likely to serve as an introductory liaison to the Delta Retiree Union. The deposition goes into great depths about the operation of Schrenker's business.

- August 27, 2006: at a deposition of Schrenker by Brian Weinstein and Rajesh James of Davis Polk (the original deposition seems to have been removed from the Delta docket where it would probably be found under Docket # 3163 for Southern New York Case 05-17923, most likely due to his August 30 termination of involvement in the pilot case (see below); Davis Polk lawyers presumably have a copy of the deposition) the following disclosures come to light:



  • In 1990, Schrenker is charged with receiving stolen property involving jewelry theft; documentation is presented that Schrenker spends 16 days in jail. Schrenker counters that he only receives probation for the offense and that record is later expunged;

  • In 1991 a Chapter 7 liquidation petition filed on Schrenker's behalf; MS counters the case was fraudulently filed by college frat brothers who took out several cards in his name;

  • Terminated from Multi Financial Securities, where he is registered from Dec. 18, 2000 to April 30, 2001, with cause, due to high volume of mutual fund switched and lack of documentation with properly completed acknowledgement letters (churning);

  • Around 9/11 several securities lawsuits are filed against him by prior clients; MS counters litigation was brought by one attorney representing 3 or 4 people who indicated MS "should have known the 9/11 events could have happened and accounts could have dropped (in his words)".

  • In 2003 the IRS files a court case against Schrenker in which he is accused of not disclosing thousands of dollars in income and not reporting income. Court trustee files documents alleging that in months prior to 2003 petition, MS buys more than $29,000 in audio/visual equipment and orders $16,000 worth of landscaping services, provided to his home, and MS is accused of fraudulent conveyance. MS claims all services are for his business and that "Trustee is obviously motivated to make it appear as we've done something fraudulent because they recover 33% of every dollar that they can squeeze out of these small companies."

  • Also in 2003, another Chapter 7 petition is filed on his behalf, which MS claims was fraudulently filed by his lawyer who had forged his signature;

  • Charles Kinney, an active Delta pilot began investing with Schrenker in mid-90s. Once learning about MS's past, Kinney approached Indiana insurance regulators on behalf of his parents, who invested their life savings into Nat Western Life Annuities thru Schenker. MS subsequently transfers the money into a different annuity account, without telling the parents, which costs them $135,000 in surrender penalties according to a December 2007 Indiana regulator complaint.

- August 30, 2006: Marcus withdraws from the Pilot Case and is a no show to the court hearing. The link to the Notice about Schrenker's withdrawal from the Delta Airlines bankruptcy docket is here. This is likely done so as to eliminate his deposition from Delta's docket which would likely incriminate him had it remained on the public record. His running away ruins the pilots' chances to successfully prevent pension plan termination, especially as Delta's financial advisor is Blackstone.


And this is probably just the beginning.


We are speechless.

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GM: If Our Cars Keep Sucking, Suckers Keep Paying

According to GM COO Fritz Henderson, if the worst case scenario that the company has put together which calls for 10.5 million annual car sales (which is higher than recent market data shows for an annualized run-rate around 10 million), then the company will simply have to borrow more from US taxpayers. The amount already allocated to GM is $13.4 billion, less than the $18 billion GM begged for. Allegedly, GM will be able to gain more concessions from the United Auto Workers which recently have proved they are unwilling to budge on pretty much anything, and in fact Ron Gettlefinger president of the UAW has said he will approach the Obama administration to "end what he called unfair requirements in the loan terms for concessions from the unions".

Whether or not it is fair to have taxpayers foot the bill for this game of chicken while the U.S. auto industry spews such masterpieces as the Pontiac Aztek is at this point moot. With unemployment soon to hit 10% and federal tax revenues crashing, the end result of this will be about as pretty as the Aztek itself...
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Breaking News: This is Your New Morgan Stanley Smith Barney Broker Calling

Summary as disclosed in C press release:
  • More than 20,000 high-quality financial advisors;
  • $1.7 trillion in client assets;
  • $14.9 billion in pro-forma combined revenues;
  • $2.8 billion in pro-forma combined pre-tax profit;
  • 6.8 million client households globally – with a strong presence in the critically important
  • high-net-worth client segment; and,
  • A footprint of more than 1,000 offices around the globe.

Lead -> Gold

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Nortel Upping The Suspense To Fever Pitch

Our readers at Reuters picked up today where we left off yesterday, and apparently had more luck in getting through to someone at the company than just the switchboard...However, not much information was gleaned: "It is our policy to not comment on our creditor obligations other than what we disclose in our public filings" according to some PR-sensitive individual at the company. On the other side of the border, mark to market-sensitive portfolio managers decided they didn't have enough patience to see this nail biter thru its exciting end and sold off bonds, with NT floaters and 10.75% notes dropping to 23 and 24.5 respectively. The skittish elements seems to share the outlook of Duncan Stewart, an analyst for DSAM Consulting: "The issue is not whether or not they can pay it. It's the idea of: if you know you're eventually going to default anyway, why not do it now and keep the ... interest payments you would have shelled out?"

As most credit traders are by now at their local 2-for-1 special watering hole, if you are reading this, it may be too late to do anything today. But tomorrow presents another opportunity to buy or sell at your heart's content... even if it means with due bill, or flat...
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HeidelbergCement Trying to Avoid The Cement Shoes

HeidelbergCement, the world leader in aggregate production which over the past year has lost over 60% of its equity value, and one of the main holdings of recently deceased Adolf Merckle who got caught shorting Volkswagen (for a brief period of time the world's most valuable company after the mother of all short squeezes), is taking proactive steps to address it capital structure according to an e-mailed statement earlier today.

The rocket scientists at S&P recently downgraded Heidelberg from BB- to B+ on concerns over covenant breach in June 2009 and heavy debt maturities in 2010 (roughly €5 billion Tranche B maturing in May 2010). Buffett's henchmen still have the company rated at Ba3. In the emailed statement the company claims it will "take steps to address its capital structure by extending the maturities of its bank financial and strengthening its equity capital positions. The company also plans to sell "non-strategic assets." It is arguable whether the current depressionary environment is one in which roughly 5x leveraged HEI can extract deleveraging multiples for any of its assets. Ironically while the company's market cap is €4.1 billion, its CDS are currently trading at roughly 2500 bps over Libor, a 62% two year default probability. However there is certainly room for upside (or downside depending how you look at it) in the CDS, which hit an all time record wide of 7000 bps equivalent on December 4.

If HEI is caught in a firesale of cement assets, this might make life tough for other big time cement maker, Cemex SA. The company, while not in comparable dire straits as evidenced by its CDS at 600, and its debt leverage roughly half of HEI, could be significantly pressed by a deterioration in already marginal pricing power.

Of course, there is hope for both companies, after all the Ted Spread is down.

************ UPDATE *************

In the Company letter that has been distributed by Bloomberg, but for some reason still having to hit the Company's PR section, most likely due to an incompetent Heidelbergian fraulein currently dancing the night away at some seedy local trance bar instead of caring about German securities disclosure law, HEI states it has hired Morgan Stanley as financial advisor. Heidelberg also claims this action is "independent of the publicly discussed financial situation of HeidelbergCement's shareholder VEM." Also, HEI is betting on the Obama Mega plan and "expects to benefit from the various stimulus packages around the globe". Sounds like a sound business plan. Sphere: Related Content

Breaking News: WSJ Reports Citi on Way to Dismantle Itself

Whoa, busy day for breaking news

Jan. 13 (Bloomberg) -- Citigroup Inc. is preparing a reorganization that will narrow its focus to two areas, another step in dismantling the financial conglomerate, the Wall Street Journal said on its Web site, citing people with knowledge of the discussions. The company plans to target wholesale banking for large corporate clients and retail banking for customers in selected regions, the Journal said. Sphere: Related Content

Zimbabwe Raised to AAA+ by S&P, Geithner Celebrates Thru Innocent Mistakes

To celebrate their new credit rating, insane dictator Robert Mugabe releases new 50 billion note, which is roughly equal to one US dollar. In what should be a sobering case study to Hank Paulson and his soon-to-be replacement Tim Geithner, (who earns bonus points in our book for "forgetting" to pay Social Security and Medicare taxes in recent years and hiring illegal immigrants, which according to Ira Sorking would likely be classified as an "Innocent Mistake") Zimbabwe's most recent reading on inflation, at a time when people's calculators could calculate numbers that high, was 11,200,000%. Let's just hope the U.S. doesn't run out of ink and paper before we need to add a few hundred zeros to each dollar bill. If one is so inclined, one might make some money by going long the company that makes the magnetic ink used by the Willy Wonka Dollar Printing Factory... Blue Horseshoe Loves whoever the hell that is.

************** UPDATE *****************

*SEN.MAX BAUCUS, CHAIR OF SENATE FINANCE COMMITTEE, SUMMONS FINANCE PANEL MEMBERS TO DISCUSS GEITHNER

probably out of jealousy for not thinking of this first

**************FURTHER UPDATE******************

*REPUBLICAN SENATOR HATCH SAYS HE SUPPORTS GEITHNER

anyone know how many maids Orrin has? Sphere: Related Content

4 out of 5 Vultures Agree Excrement About to Go Nuclear

As much as I hate to break it to Larry Kudlow and his unending "Ted-Spread is Down" monolog, the outlook for 2009 as per some people who actually know the business, although granted are heavily axed on the apocalypse bidside, is so bad, we should all just be buying rahmen noodles, crank radios, and flashlight batteries.

Among the list of doomsayers is Bryan Marsal of Alvarez & Marsal, David Resnick of Rothschild, Barry Ridings of Lazard, Mark Cohen of the 100x leveraged Deutsche Bank, Fred Crawford of Alix Partners, Corinne Ball of Jones Day, Henry Miller of Miller Buckfire, Mark Shapiro of Barclays Capital, Bill Weinsten of Gordon Brothers and James Sprayregen of K&E.

To summarize, we will quote Bryan Marsal, "there's going to be a tsunami of restructurings." But at least the Ted Spread is down. Sphere: Related Content

Hey S&P, Not Too Late To Hit Recall

*U.S. DEC. BUDGET DEFICIT AT $83.6 BILLION ON HIGHER SPENDING
*U.S. BUDGET GAP IN FISCAL 1ST-QTR SOARS TO RECORD $485.2 BLN
*U.S. DECEMBER BUDGET GAP IN LINE WITH FORECAST FOR $83 BLN
*U.S. DECEMBER SPENDING RISES 41% TO $321 BLN, TREASURY SAYS
*U.S. DECEMBER REVENUE FALLS 14% TO $238 BLN, TREASURY SAYS
*U.S. DEC. DEFICIT COMPARES WITH $48.3 BLN SURPLUS YEAR EARLIER

Or maybe this merits an upgrade in S&P's view? Sphere: Related Content

Former NYT Editor To Control Car Industry

In an article today, Bloomberg picks up on a theme that we commented on yesterday regarding Steve Rattner's imminent appointment to the throne of all things auto. Rod Lache, auto analyst at the 100x levered Deutsche Bank, comments sagely on the possible appointment of Quadrangle's head honcho, "Based on what I know of him, he fits the bill. He is a fund manager. He can look at a plan and say it does or doesn't make sense."... Well, that's some serious selection criteria right there...

We decided to dig a little deeper and familiarize ourselves with just how good of a fund manager Mr. Rattner is. As Quadrangle is a private equity shop, they are lucky in that unlike every hedge fund out there they have not had to liquidate, build a moat around their HQ to protect from angry investors, suspend redemptions, or create gated asset pools in the past 3 months, so that counts favorably to the application. Nonetheless, Rattner's comments about certain public companies for which he previously worked as a reporter, raise an eyebrow or two. Despite the 70% decline in NYT stock since Steve declared the company "safe", it seems he is best friends with Arthur Sulzberger, who is obviously on top of his game, especially with the appointments of Phil Falcone and the inimitable Scott Galloway to the NYT Board of Directors. How about Scott's private equity experience - surely he has looked at some auto companies to decide if their plans make sense... Well, unless Alpha Media Group, Brensan Communications, Cablevision, Cinemark, DataNet, Dice Holdings, MGM, NTELOS, Nuvox, Pro Sieben, Suddenlink or West Corp. have some unheretofore undisclosed auto subsidiaries, it would be somewhat questionable just how good Steve is at looking at auto planes that make sense...

Bottom line, we are a little confused about the natural fit of Mr. Rattner to the position of auto Czar... Especially since it might be a little tough to run Chrysler and Quadrangle at the same time. Like most asset managers, Mr. Rattner probably has quite a few portfolio companies that in recent years may have accumulated just a little extra debt than the surgeon general recommended and could potentially be in need of a little extra paternal care... One thing sure is that Steven's wife, Maureen White, former National Finance Chair for the Democratic Party has had nothing to do with this decision.
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U.S. Renaissance Late, Ted-Spread Blamed

Is anyone else tired of hearing Larry Kudlow's claims that the "Ted Spread is down" (which we assume is the new way of saying a spread is tighter, or alternatively the CNBC grammer nazis could be on strike, as evidenced by such pearls from Trish Regan as "Retail consumer spending changing for the good") will be the reason for the next American golden age? It is not like we have reason to doubt the intentions of the good people at the British Bankers' Association, but even your first year finance student will tell you that for any market to have some indication of value, you need to have a valid bid and valid offer. Now Libor is merely a measure of how willing banks are to lend to one another.... Well, when you have every government in the world lending directly to banks in discount windows, teller windows and drive-thru windows, which bank in its right mind would chose instead to borrow from your Barclays, RBS or Citi? It is feasible that if Zero Hedge were to get a bank charter at the local 7-11, show up at the NY fed and ask for a cool million, we will likely get that and more.



Isn't it logical that in the complete absence of bids for interbank loans, Libor levels will merely indicate whatever the offerors are willing to have Bloomberg publish (and it's not like anyone has an agenda in making the Ted spread go "down").

Enough with this Ted Spread BS, it is just another flawed metric in this transitory capitalism-to-communism environment.
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U.S. Not Spain, S&P Claims

Just as our opinion of S&P was notched up to deplorable from abysmal, they go ahead and pull this wool over our eyes:


Analyst Nikola Swann vows the reasons he can sleep at night include the following:

"We have affirmed the ratings on the U.S. despite our judgment that fiscal risk has noticeably increased, as we expect that the fiscal deterioration will be temporary (Ed. what's $10 trillion when the printing presses are in turbo boost mode) and that the country's other credit strengths will withstand current pressures."

"The ratings on the U.S. primarily reflect our opinion of the sovereign's high-income, highly diversified, and exceptionally flexible economy. The ratings also reflect our view of its strong track record in terms of growth-enhancing policies, as well as the unique advantages coming from the U.S. dollar's role as the key international currency. In our opinion, these strengths continue to outweigh the U.S.'s weakening current-year fiscal performance, growing risks in its financial sector, longer term challenges associated with its entitlement programs, and the nation's weak external position."

Oh well, we would be happy to pull up S&P's ratings from 2006/2007 on MBIA, Ambac, Lehman, Bear and a few others, to verify credibility, but frankly are just too lazy. So let's just take this for all it's worth.
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Money-Grubbing, Cholesterol-Spiking Idea of the Day

As anyone who has ever visited the West Coast will attest, Jack In The Box is the greatest hamburger joint that has ever lived. In-N-Out (mmmm.... animal style) and their JJ Abrams-like uberwierd secret menu may be a close contender, but just the intangible gratification from the utter nonsense of seeing a hydrocephallic snowman selling ciabatta burgers pushes it to a perpetual #1 ranking. Well, in an interview earlier on CNBC, CEO Linda Lang, who had earlier rang the NASDAQ opening bell (why it was not Jack we can not fathom) commented that JACK is moving to a franchise business model. Some Advice: add up your net worth and get in line to be a franchiser... With Wall Street (and related cash flows) about to go K-T boundary, the only thing people will spend money on is charbroiled, fatty goodness... Plus you will have the added benefit of seeing Jack all day every day on posters all over your office. Sphere: Related Content

Semi-Breaking News: Citi Out With Confirmation of Nothing

Citi Statement

Business Wire

NEW YORK -- January 13, 2009

Citi today said that the company is in discussions with Morgan Stanley (NYSE: MS) concerning a possible combination of the retail brokerage business operated under the Smith Barney name and the wealth management business operated by Morgan Stanley. No definitive agreement has been reached, and no assurance can be given that any such agreement will be reached. Beyond this statement, Citi has no further comment at this time.

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Mad-Cave Museum Deal Closer Than You Think

Seems Mad-Man overestimated his triathlon skills in getting to Tetterboro and the Mad-Jet before the FBI could catch up with him. Only that could explain the claim made in a NYT article earlier that:

Federal prosecutors acknowledged in a court order released Monday that Mr. Madoff’s lawyer, Ira Lee Sorkin, is "engaging in discussions concerning a possible disposition of this case." While Mr. Sorkin would not comment, several former prosecutors said that language clearly indicated that the discussions were about a deal in which Mr. Madoff would agree to plead guilty in exchange for some type of leniency. “He’s trying to cut a deal,” said Marvin G. Pickholz, a former securities regulator and specialist in white-collar crime. “The only other possible ‘disposition’ that could be negotiated would be for the government to drop the whole case — and that’s not going to happen.”


What crazy scheme is the old man hatching now? We, for one, sure would not underestimate the conniving genius of this Kasparov of conmen. Sphere: Related Content

Monday, January 12, 2009

UBS in Serious Need of Editorializing

In what might be a blatant example of investment banking schizophrenia, or merely a good-ole "talking up the book", two of UBS key "strategists", Larry Hathaway and David Bianco, in the span of 1 business day, manage to come out with two essentially contradictory reports. On one hand, David Bianco, head of Global Equity Strategy, in a note to clients January 12, claims the following (slightly abbreviated and bolded for sanity purposes):

"- S&P 500 Target and Estimates: Our 2009 year end S&P target is 1300. This suggests one of the highest return years following one of the worst return years for the S&P 500 since the depression. We expect S&P 500 EPS to be $67 in 2008, $63 in 2009 and $82 in 2010. "

"- The recession and its bubble of pessimism is a buying opportunity: The S&P has suffered one of its very worst crashes in history and unlike past crashes this one came despite rather reasonable valuations at the peak. We don't advocate excessive risk taking, but we do unequivocally encourage buying stocks in leading multinational companies today without trying to time better entry points."

"- What's the portfolio strategy of the Sweet 35 - Bberg ticket UBS_ST35 (Ed. yup, you guessed it, a freely traded, UBS constructed index). We (UBS) favor the Big-cap, Internationally exposed, Growth stocks of the S&P300. The Sweet 35 reflect this strategy."

Ok.... these are the key points of Bianco's report... The man is entitled to his opinion... It may be right or wrong... We at ZH are likely not going to hold our breath for a 50% rally in the S&P but such is life...

The problem arises when one reads the report by Larry Hathaway, this time Head of Global Investment Strategy (they sure like titles over at UBS; wonder if Global Head of Tax Evasion figures somewhere in the org chart), in a January 9 client note.

Larry poses the following rhetorical question: "Are global equities really that cheap?", to which he answers himself "No. Given likely sharp earnings deterioration in 2009, global P/E multiples are closer to "fair" than "cheap" (Ed. uhh, David's 50% presumed undervaluation would seem to qualify to ZH as falling under the "cheap" definition.... but let's read on). Larry expounds on his rhetorical question:

"Even investors in presumed non-cyclical sectors, such as consumer staples or tele-communications, may not be able to take as much comfort in this recession as in past cycles. All sources of revenue, from developed to emerging economies, are at risk, suggesting more negative margin surprises than usual. It is also worth noting that aggregate earnings are, in fact, far more cyclical than bottom up analysts typically admit."

"To underscore the point, profit numbers highlight widespread US earnings weakness, with earnings in manufacturing (-10%), wholesale trade (-15%), retail trade (-31%), financials (-32%) and transportation & warehousing (-46%) down significantly over the past year. Only foreign earnings (+5%) remain in positive growth territory. But they, too, will almost certainly turn negative this year, given the sharp deterioration in global growth and the advent of a stronger US dollar over the past six months."

"In sum, a global recession implies a year-on-year earnings decline of around 20-30%, following a 20% decline in 2008 (Ed. David, you follow?). Assuming a 30% fall in 2009, the global forward P/E is closer to 15xessentially a ‘fair value’ multiple, not the compelling valuation suggested by a simple trailing multiple."

So in short:

David is saying a 20x P/E multiple (1300 S&P tgt based on 63 in 2009E, which btw is a 6% decline from his 2008 67) is sufficient grounds for him to recommend "unequivocally buying stocks".

Larry on the other hand, is saying 2009 earnings will likely drop "20-30%" (47-54 2009 E range), and concludes that "No. Global Equities are not that cheap. The global forward P/E is closer to 15x (Ed. 15.8x based on Jan 12 value of the S&P of 870 and assuming the high end of his 2009 E range).

Of course David's agenda is to sell the "UBS Sweet 35" index, while Larry is pitching something about Corporate bonds being cheap, so clients should go ahead and call their UBS HY salesmen and buy bonds... lots of bonds...

Looks like in the regulatory vacuum left by Spitzer wall street peddlers are regressing to their old ways... and that's fine - we believe in making a buck like the next guy. But when the same brokerage comes out with two opposite conclusions within a couple of days, well, that's just smells of bad editing.

**********UPDATE***********

Late on January 12, Bloomberg quoted Larry Hatheway, who, just in case clients missed his earlier note, is quoted as saying "The current global recession will be one of the longest since World War II, with deflation possible in some economies by the middle of this year. Financial deleveraging is at an intermediate stage and may extend into 2010. China's export growth has collapsed"... Larry, i think David missed the memo.
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In Other News: People Still Throwing Away Millions


As pretty much everyone is losing their jobs it is good to see that the good people at Corcoran are successful at selling the most expensive real estate on the planet (740 Park included). In a very recent transaction, an 18 room, 6,500 sq. foot apartment (6 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms, 2 maid rooms, 100 feet of Central Park views) at what many consider the world's most desired address, 820 Fifth Avenue was recently sold under the carefully botoxed eye of Sharon Baum.

We can't imagine (but would surely enjoy our readers' input) who may have been so bold as to spend over $30 million on an apartment in a year when hedge fund managers are subpoenaed for making even $1 dollar in the open market. Knowing how notorious 5th Avenue co-ops are for only allowing old money in, and the only people who made any sort of free cash flow in 2008 were actors or Michael Phelps, something here just does not compute.

Nonetheless, if you have been watching the Nostradamus specials on the History Channel and believe the world is ending in 2012 and don't give a rats ass about anything except making it into the Social Register one way or another, Corcoran has something for you. At a mere $25 million, you will be able to buy a 14 room duplex at 998 Fifth Avenue, granted no park views so you will be relegated to mere mortal status. But ah, what a mortal, with neighbors such as Morton Hyman, CEO of OSG, Ann Slater, Jo Perella, Steve Rattner (Quadrangle bigman and potential car czar appointee) and Nathan Bernstein of Lazard fame (probably not the guy who will be going on the Toronto due diligence trips).
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